Old Faces #1

Charles Bukowski

If I never see you again
I will always carry you
inside
outside

on my fingertips
and at brain edges

and in centers
centers
of what I am of
what remains

This ‘n That

Kaposvár Sat morn Jan 29 09.00 Sunny 2°C/35°F

2° at 9am(!). I'm surprised; pleased, but surprised. I'm just getting used to that being a negative number. I'm still cold. I don't know if it's being out in the country, the humidity, or wind, but I 'feel' the chill 'in my bones,' as my sweet Mammaw used to say. More so than in Budapest. There is snow in the forecast: maybe tomorrow night, maybe Monday. I'm also pleased this morning by the Forint rising against the dollar; it had been falling, which I believe is good for my family, if not for the economy here, but I keep more of my American greenbacks if I get 330 forint than to get 300 for my dollar, as you can imagine.

Keeping me 'warm' is thinking about the future and the future of travel. A friend from NOLA, Lyle, called earlier this week, letting me know that he was 'over it,' and that he was about to pull the trigger on a flight to Paris in the middle of June; he wanted to know if I wanted to meet up in Vienna. Of course, I'd meet him most anywhere, but we had both been to Vienna, so I mentioned hiking in the Alps, which interested Lyle very much. Did you know that there are over 1,000 huts in the Austrian Alps, alone? No, neither did I. And then there are the Swiss Alps, the Julian Alps and the Italian Dolomites, all with their own 'hut system.' A bed, a shower, a meal, all at 'reasonable' prices, and these lodges are spread out so you get a good days hike in between. (Don't forget your cash & sleep-sac, 'cause they be no 'maid service' at 10,000 feet, old sport!)

My thought is for Lyle to take the overnight sleeper from Paris to Graz, where my nephew has his apartment; he will be in Budapest in June, prepping for the Hungarian National Volleyball Team's campaign over the summer. I'm waiting to hear back from him whether we could use his apartment as a base to the Austrian Alps. It says on the website of the Mountaineering Club that there is public transit from Graz to the villages where we would ascend. Plus, Graz is a UNESCO World Heritage Site, mainly because it was not nearly as torn up in WWII, as it was not a munitions site, ergo, many buildings downtown are hundreds of years old. There are vineyards, caves, thermal spas, as well; oh, yeah, the kicker: birthplace of Ah-nold Schwaaaatz-negger! Perfect!

And if that doesn't work, Lyle can join me in Ljubljana, where after a day there, we could make our way up to Lake Bled and stay with Sabine. There are trails above her little town that rise into the Julian Alps. I hope this is 'whetting your appetite,' Jim, for a little adventure; we won't be in this mess forever, ya know!

I’m Cured, I’m Sure!

Kaposvár Thurs Jan 27 15:00/3pm Beautiful Blue Skies Hi: 1°C/°33.5°F Lo: -6°C/21°F

Just a few minutes ago, I returned to the apartment from the local hospital, where I was able to get the Moderna booster shot. It turned out to be a most enjoyable experience, more so because I had steeled myself for the opposite. That says as much about me and my expectations of being in an 'officious' situation, as it does about the lovely nurses & aides that assisted me. And it took all of 25 minutes.

With the Omicron variant of the coronavirus spreading throughout Europe, the Hungarian National Health Department recommended getting a booster shot. To emphasize the point, the Hungarian National Legislature made it a requirement: starting February 15th, if you wish to travel (and who doesn't), you had to have the jab or a booster or test results that you had had the virus within the past 4-6 months. Two weeks ago, I received an email explaining this new law, with the added information that appointments at vaccination sites would no longer be necessary; it gave the days/dates/hours and locations where vaccines were being distributed. Luckily for moi, the hospital and clinic is, literally, two blocks from my apartment. [I should mention that I have been trying to make an appointment on the official website since the first of the month, but I was continually either 'kicked-off' said website or it would freeze on me. I assume it was over-whelmed with people trying to do the same thing.]

Last week was the first that the vaccine was available, but every time I passed by the hospital clinic, there was a line out the door. Seeing as it has been below freezing for much of the past few weeks (it is the middle of winter, ya'll), I wasn't of a mind to stand out in the cold for an extended period of time. I returned this week to the same, very busy & what looked like an overwhelming situation for the health-care workers (so much so, that the military was called in and they were handling the initial contact with the populace when we first arrived, checking documents & taking temperatures; I assume this unit was what we would call the 'National Guard.') 

Today, I figured I'd walk by, and if it was busy, I'd pass and continue on to the grocery store, then on the return to the apartment, I'd check again. Well, much to my surprise/relief, there were only a few people standing in the anteroom, no line outside, waiting their turn. I stepped in, and by the time I put my mask on, pulled my official papers out, had my temperature taken and my passport scanned, I was at the front of the line. 2-3 minutes, max; very efficient, thank the lord. And very polite. (I might mention here, that in addition to my passport, I knew to have available my residence card, my address card and my vaccine card, and the young woman at the first desk inside wanted all of them.) Thankfully, she knew some English. 

After writing down all the numbers from my documents, she handed the piece of paper to another young woman, who led me to a long table full of Hungarians filling out their paperwork. Another surprise: the lovely young aide spoke to me in English, asking me the questions on the form & filling them out for me(!). Oh, joy! You can't know how tedious it can be, trying to fill out one of these official papers using my iPhone & the Google Translate app. This took 5 minutes, I'm guessing. Before taking the paper with her, she advised me to sit tight and someone would call my name. 

Sure enough, not 5 minutes later, I hear my name, 'Ken' David (I'm used to this now: there are no diphthongs in Hungary, every vowel is pronounced, so they don't know what to do with the double 'E.') The woman who called my name greets me in English and asks me which particular vaccine I want. How nice. She looks at my paper and asks if it is correct that I had had the J&J jab the last time. I said I did, but would prefer either Moderna or Pfizer, this time. She said, "Nem baj/no problem." And that's what I got.

This took less than a minute, with absolutely no pain; the nurse told me to wait outside and in 10 minutes they would call my name for me to take my new vaccine papers. It was the same young woman calling my name that had helped me with my paperwork. I made a point of saying, "Nagyon szépen  Köszönöm/Thank you so very much!" To which she laughed, either because I'd butchered her language or she was surprised at my speaking her language. I didn't care either way! "Viszontlátásra/Goodbye!" (More giggles.)

All told, it took 25 minutes(!). And I am so pleased. In a week to 10 days, I'll receive the hard copy, vaccine card, in the mail (it is exactly like a credit card, but with a QR-code instead of a magnetic strip). This will be of great use while getting on a plane to the U.S., which I will be doing in the next few months. You've been warned!

Martin Luther King, Jr.

"If you can't fly, then run. If you can't run, then walk. If you can't walk, then crawl; but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.
If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way."

Finally, Someone Understands Me!

Sarcasm

If I were to tell you that sarcasm is one of our most powerful linguistic tools, your first response might reasonably be, yeah right! Perhaps you'd even simply assume that I was indulging in a little irony myself.

We are often reminded, after all, of Oscar Wilde's jibe that "sarcasm is the lowest form of wit" while forgetting that the famous twister of words immediately qualified his statement by adding "but the highest form of intelligence". Parents or teachers of teenagers, in particular, may find it hard to believe that this linguistic quirk is a sign of a flexible and inventive mind.

Yet that is exactly what psychologists and neuroscientists have been arguing. They have found that sarcasm requires the brain to jump through numerous hoops to arrive at a correct interpretation, requiring more brainpower than literal statements. And although it's often dismissed as juvenile snark, sarcasm is actually evidence of maturity – as it takes years for a child's developing brain to fully grasp and master it.

"It can be quite challenging," says Penny Pexman, a psycholinguist at the University of Calgary.

The mental effort pays off. Sarcasm allows us to add much-needed nuance to our interactions, softening the blows of our insults or adding a playful tease to a compliment. There is even some evidence that it can prime us to be more creative and that it can help us to vent negative emotions when we're feeling down.

Pexman is so convinced of sarcasm's importance that she has now started designing training programmes to help those with an underdeveloped sense of sarcastic irony.

Baby steps

Some clues to sarcasm's complexity come from its long developmental trajectory across childhood – a fact that Pexman has uncovered with the help of some sassy puppets.

In a typical study, a child might watch a character named Jane, who is attempting to paint a rose – but makes a horrible mess. "You're an awesome painter," the puppet's friend Anne says. Or they may see a character called Sam is weeding the garden – and finishes the job very quickly. "You are an awful gardener," says his friend Bob.

In general, children under five are simply unable to detect the sarcasm of these statements and tend to take the statements literally. And even after they have started to realise that the words are veiling some kind of hidden meaning, they may struggle to understand nuances. (They may think that someone is simply lying, for instance.) An understanding of sarcasm's use in humour, as a form of teasing, comes last of all. "That develops particularly late – at around nine or 10 years of age on average," says Pexman.

This developmental arc seems to follow the emergence of "theory of mind" – a child's capacity to understand another's intentions – which tends to become more sophisticated with age.

Other factors may include vocabulary and grammar, the capacity to pick up on the subtle vocal cues that might signal the sarcastic meaning, and an understanding of the contexts in which sarcasm may or may not be expected. This can only come with extensive experience of social situations. "There are all these pieces that a child needs to put together, but none of them is sufficient, by itself, to understand sarcasm," says Pexman.

Her latest studies have shown that a child's home environment can strongly influence their understanding and use of sarcasm. If the parents use sarcasm, the children are much more likely to develop the ability themselves.

"By around four, children develop the ability to take the perspective of another person and to recognise that the belief someone might hold in their mind is different from their own," Pexman says. Sarcasm is complex because the child must both understand the actual belief of the speaker and the ways they intend their words to be interpreted by the other person – a two-step process that takes time for a child to master. (In general, children under seven find it hard to hold two potentially opposing ideas in mind.)

By the time they are teens, many children have mastered these complex skills – and it is perhaps not surprising that they then enjoy experimenting with them, and testing their effects on others.

Other factors may include vocabulary and grammar, the capacity to pick up on the subtle vocal cues that might signal the sarcastic meaning, and an understanding of the contexts in which sarcasm may or may not be expected. This can only come with extensive experience of social situations. "There are all these pieces that a child needs to put together, but none of them is sufficient, by itself, to understand sarcasm," says Pexman.

Her latest studies have shown that a child's home environment can strongly influence their understanding and use of sarcasm. If the parents use sarcasm, the children are much more likely to develop the ability themselves.

By the time they are teens, many children have mastered these complex skills – and it is perhaps not surprising that they then enjoy experimenting with them, and testing their effects on others.

Creative speaking

If you're still not convinced that your teen's love of sarcasm is a milestone worth celebrating, consider a recent experiment from Ruth Filik, a psychologist at the University of Nottingham in the UK. The participants were asked to lie in an fMRI scanner as they read various scenarios of common events.

In some cases, the characters' statements were intended to be gently ironic, such as:

Bernice and Caitlin were both applying for a psychology course at a university in the USA. They went to print out their applications together. The printer only had pink paper available. Bernice said to Caitlin: "Very formal!"

In others, the same words were used as sarcastic criticism of a particular person:

Bernice and Caitlin were both applying for a psychology course at a university in the USA. They went to print out their applications together. Caitlin chose to print hers on pink paper. Bernice said to Caitlin: "Very formal!" 

Both types of irony fired up the "mentalising" network involved in understanding other people's beliefs and intentions – a finding that underlines the importance of theory of mind in interpreting these kinds of ambiguous statements.

Importantly, however, Filik found that the sarcasm also triggered greater activity in semantic networks involved in general language processing, and the brain regions involved in humour, compared to the non-sarcastic irony – which she takes to be a sign of its overall complexity. "It's more challenging to work out what the beliefs of the other person were, why they said that, and whether they're trying to either be mean or be funny."

This mental workout may come with some surprising benefits. Working with colleagues at Harvard and Columbia Universities, Li Huang at Insead's business school in Fontainebleau, France, has shown that both expressing, receiving, or recalling sarcastic comments can help to catalyse creative thinking.

One of her experiments involved the "Candle Problem", for example, in which participants are presented with a candle, a pack of matches and a box of tacks. Their task is to find a way to attach the candle to the wall so that it can burn without dripping wax on the floor. The correct answer is to empty the box of tacks, pin it to the wall, and then place the candle inside – a solution that will only come to mind if you are prepared to think laterally about the functions of each object.

Before embarking on the problem, some participants were asked to recall a sarcastic interaction, while others remembered a sincere or neutral exchange. Quite amazingly, the sarcastic memories more than doubled the participants' success rate, from around 30 to more than 60%.

As a form of humour, sarcasm may also help us to deal with frustration or stress. "It can be a way of letting off steam," says Kathrin Rothermich at East Carolina University in Greenville, North Carolina. Intriguingly, one of her recent studies found that depressed and anxious individuals' use of sarcasm increased over the Covid-19 pandemic – which may reflect this coping mechanism.

In general, though, the primary motivation of sarcasm will be linguistic – to add colour to the messages that we hope to convey. "You have the veil of the surface meaning, over the underlying meaning," says Pexman. It could be a gentle tease, and if you are implicitly criticising someone, it can even give you plausible deniability – reducing the risk of an altercation.

While these studies were conducted with adults rather than teenagers, it seems likely that teens experience similar sensations when they use sarcasm – and might find it a useful way to cope with negative feelings or difficult situations.

Training sarcasm

It may initially feel like a shock when parents notice their children deploying sarcasm – a sign, perhaps, of a more adult-like cynicism that jars with their impressions of their offspring's youthful innocence. Parents may feel particularly helpless when dealing with a teenager who injects it into almost all interactions, as if they struggle to express any sincere emotions.

But should we blame teens for wielding this versatile tool? Perhaps it's better seen as the useful practice of a vital ability? "It is a skill that they want to be able to be good at, particularly because a huge amount of the language that we use in everyday life is not literal," says Filik.

Pexman agrees – and it is for this reason that she has started looking for ways to teach sarcasm to children who are slow at grasping its nuances. The result is "Sydney Gets Sarcastic", a storybook that provides multiple examples of sarcasm and the reasons it was used. In a recent experiment on 5–6-year-olds, she showed that children who read and discussed the story found it easier to detect sarcastic statements in a subsequent test.

Given sarcasm's poor reputation, we might all be a bit more appreciative of its complexity and sophistication. I mean no irony when I say it is – quite literally – one of the language's greatest gifts.

Margaret Storm Jameson

"Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed."